Sunday, December 10, 2006

ten good reasons

because ...
it has cost me so much money over the years
it is truly a disgusting dirty habit
i don't want to spend the rest of my life doing this
it will make the wife happy
it is not big and it is not clever
it locks me into things from my past which it shouldn't
i should never have started in the first place
i will feel healthier within a short space of time
stopping dramatically increases your vocal range
most of all because i want to

for all these reasons

today will be the day i smoke my last cigarette ... ever


i hereby promise ...
never to be an ex-smoker bore ... will never tut at other smokers ... will never lecture others about the ills of smoking ... will not stare at cigarette packets like a love lorn teenager

i can't promise ...
not to crave one every time i drink more than two vodkas ... get crabby in the morning because all i wanna do is smoke ... chew gum like mad every time i get nervous (yes i promise to remove the gum before going on any stage anywhere)

you must promise ...
never ever to offer me a cigarette (my name is steve i am an ex addict) ... not to think every time i am pissed off it is because i want a cigarette (sometimes i am just pissed off) ... support me in my endevour to live longer (i know ... there's the rub) :)


Michael Radcliffe said...

I do solemnly promise to abide by all the things wot you said.

Good luck, Steve. We'll be ex-smokers together.

You should have also made people promise not to react with mock horror and gasps of shock in the event that you do fall off the smoking wagon from time to time.

Kathryn said...

Trying very hard not to be too enthusiastic here, that nonetheless sounds like a Seriously Good Idea.
Do hope it's not too hideous a process for you, and that benefits outweigh costs rapidly. x

pip said...

...... hey - congratulations ..... a good idea.
Would you have one of my small cigars?
No inhaling?

.... and have a stinking good time as you travel ...... you are a beautiful humanoid ....


Anonymous said...

damn it, I'll have to find someone else to cadge off ;-)

Ah well, that not withstanding (nor to mention the obvious nervousness the world may have about "dramatically increases your vocal range"), good luck mate.

sally said...

If only the world would help me do the same with chocolate..from one addict to another... I'm with you......lvoe you xxxx

Chelley said...

Good for you... well if I could do it...!

richard-webber said...

Congratulations Steve, Initially I thought you are joking...Well all I can say is join the club. You are a great man

cal said...

Good luck. The thing that kept me going when I was quitting was that if you don't smoke for 12 months you can officially declare yourself a non-smoker for things like insurance etc

Caroline said...

good for you. and very glad you've said it before new year cos otherwise it would be a cliche that would be so unbecoming ;)

good luck, and try not beat yourself up if it occasionally hits a wobble.

Anonymous said...

The last reason is by far the best - good luck, Katie