Monday, August 09, 2004

humn condition 64b

and my last post got me thinking on one of those 'hmmm why does that happen' type thought process dribbles that humans do

this is not picking on anyone but it does intrigue me a little how people do this thing ... they are part of something ... in my world it is holy joes or a board i am part of … and in every instance there are those that do ... those that have an opinion about what those are doing are doing ... and those who just watch everyone else doing and saying

now why is that? as far as i can tell it is a condition of human groups ... where two or three are gathered not everyone will do stuff ... or something more pithy than that

i am a great believer in empowering people and allowing them to get involved ... i want to hear what people think and let each person express an opinion if they have one ... giving a voice to the voiceless etc … and i totally understand that some speak a lot (how could i not get that) and that others are less vocal or maybe have nothing further to add and agree with the consensus ... but eventually ... in time ... sooner or later you do have to actually do something ... take action ...make it happen ... act on a collective decision ... and at that point the room falls silent

inevitably it ends up falling at the feet of the usual suspects ... drives me crazy
… someone suggested to me this weekend that someone they know uses the principle that if you want to get something done ask a busy person ... they are likely to get it done they are likely to say yes to the request in the first place … and while i appreciate the concept it maddens me that people don't share the load ... get involved

the other aspect that infuriates me about this syndrome is that those who don't take their share of the actual doing will still be quite happy to reap the benefit … eat the food while never preparing making or clearing up afterwards kind of thing

there have been times when I get the comment ‘oh but you love doing things’ or ‘you are so good at getting things done’ or even a remark that implies I have something warped in me that has to organise or has to make something happen

if it is anything it is sitting and watching things being done badly that has eventually led to me applying the ‘if you want something done do it yourself ‘ thing

if there are people like me in a group do the group learn to stay out of it because eventually my type will pick it up and run with it … am I making them worse? … are they making me worse

why can’t people share responsibility? Why let others be run into the ground and then moan when it isn’t quite what they would have done or what they expected

is this just a long moan because i am feeling busy right now? … I don’t think so I see this again and again and it angers me and I struggle with how to resolve it … step away completely and events/groups/things suffer and things don’t get done … talk about it and everyone agrees you feel you are moaning and nagging and nothing much changes in the long term

any thoughts?

Oh please what am I thinking … I have set up a blog which gets typed into the ether … this isn’t a forum for debate this is me talking to myself … typing out loud

Oh well


Kathryn said...

Tell me about it, sweetheart! No, its not just you....happens all the time. Since I arrived here a month ago, I've realised that out of a congregation of 150+ the people who actually Get Things Done are the half dozen who came and introduced themselves to me in the first week....
We are currently organising an "Open Day"...kind of, this is what the church does here, is there anything that appeals, or anything missing you'd like to see there....and two couples are doing more or less EVERYTHING.
The only thing that is stopping me from leaping in and volunteering madly for all sorts of things for which I am not remotely qualified is the timing....Yup, you've guessed...they've only gone and chosen August BH....

maggi said...

hi steve. suddenly got HEAPS of traffic on my blog, referred from yours - so came over and see you have a beautiful new blog. very nice.

sorry to hear you're working too hard again

steve said...

cool are very welcome ... yours is the first blog i ever read so i always feel duty bound to keep an eye on it ... don't understand it all cos it gets all intelligent sometimes but i gaze at the pictures and stuff :) ... will see you soon at that festival

steve said...

kathryn ... now i dont know what the protocol for blogs is do i reply to your comment on my blog or yours or do i email you ... so confusing

anyway i am glad it is not just me ... and do not under any circumstances offer to do anything on GB weekend is vital that you minister to all us greenbelters ... maggi can use that excuse as well ... the lord is calling you to minister to the unwashed LOL

hadge said...

Hi Steve, thanks for your comment on my blog - intrigued as to who our 'mutual friend' could be? Delighted that anyone should recommend my blog as a good example. A while ago I did visit Holy Joe’s but since I had to get the train back to Chichester I didn’t have much time to connect with anyone. Ironically I spent most of my time talking to a couple of Americans who were also visiting. I appreciate and identify with your monday moan – seems to me that it’s an incontrovertible law of any group that the fewest people do the most work – be it church or golf club – I’d even have to confess that as much as I also see myself as an ‘enabler’ I also feel very frustrated when I know I could have done it quicker and better (is that bad of me?) So, the real challenge is to make sure that in our business we don’t become so swamped as to submerge ourselves completely – enjoy GB – got there last summer, can’t make it this time – sad.

1 i z said...

What I want to know, is what do all these...well let's call them passengers shall we... do with their time?

I suspect one of the main answers is 'have children'. Which surely in itself is a good enough reason for trying to ensure that everyone shares the load and keeps busy...'cos like we need more people on this planet (or specifically like we need more small people in the bars/restaurants/whatevers that I hang out in)!