Part Three

We get it home, unpack it, set it up, plug it in, make a cup of tea and prepare to join the information highway, the global village … nothing happens at all

Everything is setup correctly and let’s face it people, nowadays with the way these machines are designed they almost know what you want to do before you think it.

Do you want to join the internet?
Yes please.
Ok would you like to use that little box there with the flashing lights that you have plugged into my bottom?
Yes Please.
Would you like to have a nice high speed broadband connection from a lovely company called Bee Tee?
Yes Please.
Now I have done all the complicated electronic stuff could I possibly trouble you for the password?
You type in your password
I’m sorry there is a problem
Huh? What is the probem
The problem is I can’t connect to the internet
Why not?
Because I can’t connect to the internet

After much checking of connections, rebooting the G5 and starting over a few times we decide that G5 hadn’t inherited an attitude problem from its granddad G3 who was sat in the corner with a slightly sulky face, that there really did seem to be some problem with the line.

We called Bee Tee Helpline. Before we go any further let me make one thing clear, if I happen to win the lottery in the next few weeks I will personally instruct my lawyers to sue Bee Tee under the Trades Description Act, there is no way that you can have a department called ‘Helpline’ that then goes out of it’s way to be the exact opposite, we have laws. I am guessing I will be overwhelmed with people who would be willing to join a class action.